We Owe Each Other Everything

Our only hope is to realize it

We live in a broken world. We are divided, fractured, isolated, unraveling at the seams. We feel angry, disillusioned, disconnected. We hate our neighbors, we worship money, we are obsessed with temporary pleasures, we distrust strangers. We are like this in large part because we live in a society that exalts the individual over the collective. In fact, the collective is negated almost entirely. Society is built around the concept that you protect you and yours, and that you don’t owe anyone else anything at all. It is reflected in our celebrities, in our politicians, in our media. For someone who believes deeply that humanity is one body, this world hurts. It hurts because we are all so alienated from one another and everyone is left to struggle alone, in silence. Being an island unto yourself is celebrated as a high ideal. Recently, as I was doom scrolling, I came across a post that spoke to this feeling. It said:

“if the united states ever has even a hope of recovering we have to destroy the idea of american individualism. ‘they don't owe you anything; we owe each other everything actually”

Cait on BlueSky

This post has been banging around in my head ever since because it verbalized something I believe with all my heart: we don’t stand a chance unless we start to internalize the fact that we owe everything to one another. We’ve tried it the other way, for centuries even. We’ve tried to be isolated little silos that only take care of ourselves and those closest to us. We’ve tried to muddle through this life alone. We’ve tried and tried and the results have been disastrous. People are more depressed, more lonely, less likely to have friends, less likely to find a partner, less likely to have children, than we’ve ever been before. Your problems are your problems alone and no one “owes you anything”. Our culture prides itself on being “self-made” in every sense of the word. Asking for help is seen as a weakness. Requesting a little support through a dark time is seen as begging. Media figures love to bang on about how they never applied for government assistance or took a student loan and paid their way by working three jobs until they were rewarded by the Gods of the Protestant Work Ethic with unimaginable levels of wealth and success. If someone gives a little bit of that wealth back, they are seen as heroes who did something they weren’t required to. After all, they “earned” that money all by themselves. (Forget the fact that no one can truly make it on their own and behind every one of those rags-to-riches stories was a trust fund or a mentor or a thousand other little ways that the person in question wouldn’t have made it without help.)

Politicians often talk about the meager social safety net in this country as “entitlements”, as if it is shameful to expect the government and society you are a part of to give back to you during the hard times. Mitt Romney even famously talked in 2012 of people who are, “dependent upon government ... believe that they are victims ... believe the government has a responsibility to care for them ... these are people who pay no income tax” echoing his Bain Capital partner’s idea that there were two classes of people in this country: makers and takers. This is a common sentiment, and not just among the moneyed classes. It has been so steeped in the American consciousness, that you will often hear the same from the very people who do rely on benefits to live. There is an outright resentment and even hostility towards those who have not been able to make ends meet; people who are victims of this system and need a helping hand. While it is common, it is also the type of thinking that threatens to tear the world apart and is actively doing so while we all watch.

Right this minute, our fellow countrymen are being disappeared by the government, many of them sent to a foreign torture prison for the rest of their lives, because a guy who ran on “MASS DEPORTATIONS NOW!” is making good on his promise. Many of these people have committed no crime and were picked up erroneously, but that didn’t save them from this fate (not that this would be acceptable even if they did commit crimes). Others are being dragged off the streets for protesting a genocide, having their visas and green cards revoked, and being shipped back to their countries of origin or rotting in a Louisiana ICE facility for what can only be described as thought crimes. While this happens, a large segment of the population looks on and cheers. They cheer because this is happening to the other. This isn’t affecting them, hurting them, threatening them. The people for whom this either pleases, or does not disturb, can only feel this lack of compassion for those affected because they have deeply internalized the idea that there’s some distinct difference between “us” and “them” and that we owe each other nothing.

The end result of “I don’t owe you anything” - Getty Images

Indeed, the genocide in Gaza would not be possible without the belief that there’s a dividing line between certain sectors of humanity and others. That there’s people who are entirely disposable while others are worthy of protection and safekeeping. While extremely pervasive, this idea is not only toxic, it is fundamentally anti-human. People who feel like we have no responsibility to each other, who can stand by and watch, unfeeling, while part of this human project suffers, are like a disease that is slowly infecting and strangling the body of humanity as a whole, limb by limb.

Yes, we owe each other everything. Human thriving, human flourishing, is only truly possible when we start to care about all of us, not just the suffering inside our immediate circles. There is a lot of effort by the ruling class to try to convince you that your wellbeing is contingent upon the suffering of others, that the other is a threat to you, that there is a fundamental difference between you and them. That the homeless man on the subway having a mental health episode is nothing like you. That the immigrant mother trying to get across the border and being drowned by razor wire could never be you.

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

There is a a lot of effort spent trying to keep us divided, to keep us ignorant of our class position and focused instead on our sexual orientation, gender identity, national origin, race, religion. There is nothing more threatening to the current order than for us to start to realize that we are one people and that we owe each other everything. If we started to treat a threat to one as a threat to all, there would be no stopping us. We would never accept the status quo. We would never accept the wars, the imperialism, the genocides, the deportations, the disappearances, the homelessness, the poverty, the abuse, the neglect, the despair. All of these social ills are dependent on the people believing that it couldn’t happen to us, and that there is a separation between ourselves and everybody else.

We live in a broken world, yes, but we can heal it if we have the courage to look past superficial differences and realize that none of us is safe unless we all are. Our rulers fear the day when we start to realize that the only “us” and “them” that truly matters is “us” the whole world versus “them” the ruling class who want to split us apart. We must abandon our toxic individuality because it that which is sowing the seeds of our very destruction. We owe each other everything, everything, including the fight for a world in which we can all find peace.

No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main.

If a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as if a manor of they friends’ or of thine own were.

Any man’s death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind. And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.

John Donne (1572 - 1631)

Thanks for reading! I am a 100% crowd-funded writer and rely on your support to continue this project (and pay my bills!). If you enjoyed this piece, please consider upgrading to a paying membership here. You can also leave me a tip. An audio version of this newsletter is available on Apple Podcasts and YouTube. Make sure to subscribe so you can get the latest right in your inbox. If you aren’t able to financially support this project, sharing it with a friend goes a long way. It is your support that makes this project possible. - Scarlet