You're not alone. The feeling of lost possibilities, branches ending in dead ends, feeling like you need time to make the right decision and then realizing time made it for you. When things are more hopeful than I can honestly say they have been for a while; this way of looking at the world and seeing and feeling so much potential or at least the better side of things- it's a gift. Lately it feels like a curse, to be forced to see without feeling able to make enough others see how much worse it can still get.
Beautifully put. I live my own, very similar version of this and often suspect most of us do too, on a fundamental level. It’s easy and depressing to think that I’m alone in feeling this way though, so reading your words gives me hope and lightens my day. Thank you.
Oof, too real. I think this is a relatable feeling for millennial/ older gen z leftists: born during a time of false optimism, saw that narrative crumble in the 2000s, and now feel a sense of loss fueling our politics.
"The more beautiful world our hearts know is possible"
I feel like this is an intrinsic human sense. When I make room for it, futures unfurl in mandelbrot sets. This point in time is no more confined than the paleozoic or 10,000 AD, only our mortality limits us and is simultaneously what gives our own experience and our participation in the larger existence meaning.
And meaning is measured in quality, not quantity. The impact we have on each other is every bit as important as technological achievement; Einstein had just as much impact on us as his mother had on him
"But as long as I live that part of me that screams out for a world that never was and mourns the losing of it will be there because it’s the thing that keeps me human. It’s the thing the bastards can never take away. Maybe it’s me breaking my own heart over and over again but the worse fate, to me, is resigning myself to “as good as it’s gonna get”."
Beautifully written Scarlet. I think a lot of us out there feel that same way. I've lost count at this rate of how many times I've felt my heart break only to misremember if I managed to pick up all the pieces each time. Despite how painfully shattering it is, that's humanity in a nutshell -- that immutable dedication to not just the idea but genuine belief that a better world is possible (even when things seem bleaker than ever). This piece brought tears to my eyes and based on the plethora of wonderful comments here, it seems I may not be alone on that front. Thank you for sharing this with us Scarlet.
You're not alone. The feeling of lost possibilities, branches ending in dead ends, feeling like you need time to make the right decision and then realizing time made it for you. When things are more hopeful than I can honestly say they have been for a while; this way of looking at the world and seeing and feeling so much potential or at least the better side of things- it's a gift. Lately it feels like a curse, to be forced to see without feeling able to make enough others see how much worse it can still get.
Beautifully put. I live my own, very similar version of this and often suspect most of us do too, on a fundamental level. It’s easy and depressing to think that I’m alone in feeling this way though, so reading your words gives me hope and lightens my day. Thank you.
Oof, too real. I think this is a relatable feeling for millennial/ older gen z leftists: born during a time of false optimism, saw that narrative crumble in the 2000s, and now feel a sense of loss fueling our politics.
I wrote a poem when I was younger to express this same sentiment. It feels good to know others sit with this as well. Thank you.
"The more beautiful world our hearts know is possible"
I feel like this is an intrinsic human sense. When I make room for it, futures unfurl in mandelbrot sets. This point in time is no more confined than the paleozoic or 10,000 AD, only our mortality limits us and is simultaneously what gives our own experience and our participation in the larger existence meaning.
And meaning is measured in quality, not quantity. The impact we have on each other is every bit as important as technological achievement; Einstein had just as much impact on us as his mother had on him
Alienation. This system and its structures of oppression is showing its age, the bone is exposed.
I can imagine a better world and I consider that a blessing.
You said it. I also had very early nostalgia.
"But as long as I live that part of me that screams out for a world that never was and mourns the losing of it will be there because it’s the thing that keeps me human. It’s the thing the bastards can never take away. Maybe it’s me breaking my own heart over and over again but the worse fate, to me, is resigning myself to “as good as it’s gonna get”."
Beautifully written Scarlet. I think a lot of us out there feel that same way. I've lost count at this rate of how many times I've felt my heart break only to misremember if I managed to pick up all the pieces each time. Despite how painfully shattering it is, that's humanity in a nutshell -- that immutable dedication to not just the idea but genuine belief that a better world is possible (even when things seem bleaker than ever). This piece brought tears to my eyes and based on the plethora of wonderful comments here, it seems I may not be alone on that front. Thank you for sharing this with us Scarlet.
Simple solution - we move forward.
Very nice article Scarlet. Thank you for writing it.